The Work of Warriors

Kim Rapach (00:02.382)
Hello everyone and welcome back. I can tell you that so many of my clients when they come to me, they're concerned about where they're at given their age. And this is a common theme that I hear throughout a lot of the work that I do. Thinking no matter how successful somebody is, there's just always like this like invisible.

no matter how successful someone is, there seems to be this invisible goalpost that keeps moving on people and it induces this fear that they haven't gone far enough. And then it's just this perpetual cycle that people get themselves into. And so that's why I'm so excited for today's guest. And I'm just gonna read you her bio so that I don't, one, so I don't screw it up, but two, because it's fascinating. So, okay, so here we go.

Gail Taylor is an author, motivational speaker and songwriter who embodies the epitome of personal growth and achievement beginning her own transformative journey in the late 1970s. For 25 years, Gail thrived in the financial sector, orchestrating financial independence for her clients and herself. Embracing a new creative path in music at 65, Gail is an inspirational storyteller who represents the essence

of personal growth, development and potential, showing what is truly possible for every one of us. Her book Curveballs, unlocking your potential through personal growth and inspirational music, blends personal stories, self development tools and music, reflecting her belief in the transformative power of music to heal the soul. The immersive book includes QR codes linking to original songs, allowing readers to connect

deeply with the lessons and emotions of each chapter. Gail's work emphasizes living with purpose, authenticity, and passion. With an MBA from Queens University, executive training from Harvard, and certifications from Wharton, Gail's expertise spans both personal growth and financial development. She's a strong advocate for mental health.

Kim Rapach (02:20.704)
Addiction recovery inspiring others to face life's

She is a strong advocate for mental health and addiction recovery, inspiring others to face life's challenges with resilience and to unlock their fullest potential. Help me welcome.

Kim Rapach (02:44.652)
Welcome, Gail Taylor.

Hi, Gail, welcome to the work of warriors. How are you?

Gail Taylor (09:07.296)
I'm doing great, Kim, and thanks so much for having me. This is an honor.

Kim Rapach (09:11.926)
I'm so glad. Thank you so much. On the work of warriors, we focus primarily on people who are taking care of themselves first so that they can pour into others. Whereas sometimes, especially for artists and creatives,

there's this misnomer that they have to give away everything they have before they take care of themselves. And as a former therapist and now mental wellness coach, I help people focus on themselves returning back to who they are, know, saving their gifts for themselves, finding creative things to do that they don't always have to give away or give to the world. And

You know, I also focus from a place of wellness as opposed to mental illness. think mental illness has a lot of stereotypes and a lot of misunderstanding, even miseducation. And so as I help people work through trauma, understanding their personality, learning how to take care of themselves, a lot of those things that would qualify someone as a diagnosis.

They go away and we can focus on wellness. I'm certainly not here to say mental illness doesn't exist because it does. However, you can really, minimize or diminish symptoms if you take care of yourself. And this is not a new concept by any means, which is why I love your story because you've been doing this for a minute. You've been focusing on your own mental health for a minute. Do you want to talk about that? Maybe share with our listeners what your journey has been.

Thank

Gail Taylor (10:50.998)
yeah, absolutely. And yeah, you had it while I was listening to you. was there. Yes. Yes. That mental wellness is what it's all about. I heard this on another podcast and I use it all the time because it is so me and that's that I come from a place of healed scars, not open wounds, right? And it's so, it's, it's doable. It is doable for anybody. So

My journey actually started quite young. When I was 12 years old, my father died and I didn't do well. mean, talk about trauma. I kept him alive for two years. I pretended he was a spy for the government and that they had to pretend that he was dead for our safety for two years. And then he was gonna walk in the house someday. So then what happened, we lived in a little town, 3,000 people.

And my mom had six kids, so I'm one of six. I'm 12 years old. She's in her mid thirties and now she's got six kids. And so she moved us from the town to a city and it not so nearby city. And the purpose was so that she could get a job, keep all six kids together and keep us off welfare.

So keep us out of the system, keep us off welfare. So she moves us to the city, she gets a job and it didn't work for me. The city just swallowed me up. It swallowed me up, it chewed me up, it spit me out. By the time I was still 12 years old, I was trying to figure out how to deal with this new strange place I lived in, in the new school. So I turned to drugs, alcohol and reckless behavior.

right away, so you know before my 13th birthday. And it was long, like I would, my mom would go to bed early, she'd come home from work putting one foot in front of the other, right, she'd have dinner with us and then she'd go to bed and cry herself to sleep because she was mourning her loss of her husband. And so she went to bed early and as soon as she was asleep I snuck out, I hitchhiked to the other

Gail Taylor (13:09.866)
side of the city, 12 year old girl hitchhiking across the city, hooked up with some older kids and we got stoned all night. And then two o'clock in the morning, I'd hitchhike back home and mom didn't even know I was going. And so I carried this on and this reckless behavior and this, this while I got caught, I became an addict, right? And so I started with the mind altering substances every day.

And I carried that on for 10 years, 10 years before the first time I started to do a shift. And when I started, I was in my mid 20s and I literally, I woke up one day and it was like, I looked around at the mess I made, not just in my house, in my soul. And I thought, there's gotta be more to life than this. There's gotta be.

Kim Rapach (14:00.142)
Yeah.

Gail Taylor (14:05.454)
You've got to be able to take control and do something different. And just having that little spark of, okay, enough's enough, it worked. It just something clicked in my brain. And the next thing you know, I started reading. I started reading books about personal growth.

How do I get to the next level? I started with Napoleon Hill's book, Think and Grow Rich. I'm sure a lot of your listeners have read this book. I'm sure they've all heard of it and I'm sure a lot of them read it. And so that was the very first book. And I was a high school dropout, right? I dropped out of school when I was 16 and I was hitchhiking across the country with my boyfriend. mean, the stories could go on and on.

But when I read that book, one of the things was, you know, pick a goal and focus on that. And I mean, you know, mid 20s dysfunctional, what do you think I want? Financial independence. I want the luxury car and the boat and the whole thing. Like that was that was my that was my dream at the time. And I went for it. And then I continued to read and and personal growth and peak performance. I studied it for 40 years and.

Kim Rapach (15:20.12)
So had you stopped using at that point?

Gail Taylor (15:23.436)
Nope, nope, I cut back enough to be able to start shifting my life. But no, I didn't stop using. And unfortunately for my son, I had a three year old son at the time. And so now we're getting into the early eighties, right? Late seventies, early eighties. And so I'm in that it's like the me, me, me generation, right? The baby boomers. It's all about work hard, play hard. And that's what I did.

I worked really hard, I started to create all this success in business. And then after work, I went and partied. I shifted a little bit more to alcohol at the time, but not completely. So my son didn't get a lot of my time. And when this happened, I thought, you know, I had people that were taking care of him, the babysitters, it was...

I made sure he was with people that loved him and wanted to be around him. And I thought that worked, you know, quality over quantity. You know, when I was with him, I was there, but I wasn't with. Yeah, no, that was just poor parenting that I didn't know any better. Right. I just at the time I was not my my brain. And unfortunately, I mean, if we're going to fast forward through life, my son

went through the same thing. When he was 12 years old, I moved him across the country. I put him in a new school. I introduced a new man into his life. And guess what? He did the exact same thing as me. He spiraled. He ended up being an addict. And that was the first time that... So this is another 10 years later. This is the first time that I really stopped using on a daily basis.

And it was like, how do I help this kid get through this? And I can't, he hated me. He absolutely hated me for all the mistakes I made for all, like he came by it honestly. I screwed up and he was bitter. So I had a lot of learning to do. And that's when I started reading about addiction and understanding what was happening to my brain, what was happening to my body and was able to

Gail Taylor (17:44.672)
work through, you know, the lingo, the codependency, the enabling, the boundaries. I have my son's permission to share our story. It is, you know, it is our story, but his part too. He's actually in recovery right now and he's one of my best friends. And he's been in recovery for years. But he got caught up in the opioid world.

Kim Rapach (18:02.21)
Gail Taylor (18:08.85)
And I'm very lucky he's in recovery because I don't think I'd have a son right now if he was still there. With the fentanyl, with the deaths, my God, it's just, it's unbelievable. So that's the third.

Kim Rapach (18:13.762)
Yeah, that's always my first response is, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I'm glad he's here and I'm glad he's in recovery and living his life. Yeah. And that you're reconnected. Yeah.

Gail Taylor (18:25.312)
Yeah. absolutely. Yeah. yeah. Yeah. Like I said, he's my best friend. He's an amazing person.

Kim Rapach (18:34.784)
amazing. Thank you for sharing.

Gail Taylor (18:36.396)
And yeah, for your listeners out there that have loved ones that are in active addiction, that's what I always say. Hey, give yourself permission to be happy. You're on a parallel journey. Figure out what you can do and what you can't do because you can't control them. You don't have control. You know, like I had a therapist tell me to tell my son that he was dead to me and that I wouldn't have anything to do with him until he was clean. I know I see your eyes like it was just and I said no.

That's not my personality. I'm not going to tell this kid that he's dead to me. What I'm going to tell him is I got my boundaries. I'm not taking phone calls from you where if I don't give you money for drugs, you're going to yell and call me all sorts of names. I'm not going to do that. That's a boundary. But if you want to go to rehab, if you need help, if you want to get clean, I'm your advocate. I'll find you a bed in a minute. I can I'll be there if there's financial need. I'll be there. I'll absolutely be there.

I'm just not going to support you in addiction. And learning how to live a parallel life with him was a game changer.

Kim Rapach (19:37.484)
It's so beautiful.

Kim Rapach (19:43.33)
Yeah, that's so beautiful. Yeah, I can't believe as a former therapist, I cannot believe you had a therapist who told you that. That's what that was look on my face like what? And I'm a mom, I have a son, he's 19. And I just can't imagine ever uttering those words.

Gail Taylor (19:53.351)
I know. I know. And needless to say.

Gail Taylor (20:03.008)
And that would have been about my son's age when that happened. He would have been in his late teens, early 20s.

Kim Rapach (20:09.486)
Yeah. Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you.

Gail Taylor (20:11.918)
And I had a really good job at the time. Like I became a financial advisor. I mean, I ended up going from being a high school dropout to getting an MBA. I got an analyst degree at Wharton. I studied microfinancing at Harvard. I got an MBA at Queens. Like I ended up becoming a lifelong learner and I absolutely loved it. And I was a financial advisor and I was really successful. I was managing $130 million. Loved my job. Loved my clients.

So when I went to that therapist, I told her, life's good. I have an amazing husband. I mean, he is my soulmate. Everything's awesome, but I have a kid that's struggling with addiction and I'm in the process of learning how to navigate that and live within my own world and his to be there for him.

So that was where I was coming from when she said that to me. So it was like, yeah, not, not, might've worked for someone else, but you know, maybe there were, maybe there are parents out there that need that approach. I don't know, but it wasn't for me.

Kim Rapach (21:26.146)
Well, I think if we look at the humanity within addiction and not just the addiction, and we look at people who suffer with addiction as actual people, again, they're worthy of kindness and love and respect, and a lot of boundaries are needed.

Gail Taylor (21:46.666)
Absolutely, absolutely. But in know, in fairness to her, this was 25 years ago. So addiction, you know, we talk about the stigma now. Whoa, the stigma back then was just like, you know, it was a it was way more.

Kim Rapach (21:49.173)
there's a difference.

Kim Rapach (22:01.304)
Yeah.

Kim Rapach (22:06.158)
Excuse me. So where are you at today? You just, you have this bright, like, you're just like a light, like you just, you emulate joy. And so I'd love to know, whatever you're willing to share, I think it's fascinating.

Gail Taylor (22:16.814)
Aww.

Gail Taylor (22:26.754)
Okay, so here's my now. This is fun. Okay, 25 years as a financial advisor. And then when I was 58 years old, I started taking piano lessons just for like a hobby, right? Stopped thinking about numbers and money and I started taking piano lessons. And I had never taken a musical instrument lesson in my life. I had no background.

And I didn't have natural talent. So here I was learning my little scales, know, everything from scratch and honest to God, Kim, I fell in love with it. It was just like I was having and and music started flooding back into my life as listening to it because I hadn't realized that for the last 25 years I in the car I was listening to economic books. Right. I was you know, I did I had taken music out of my life without even knowing it.

So two years into this, I thought, okay, I'm gonna retire a little bit earlier than I had planned, sell my practice and study music full time. And so when I was 61, that's what I did. I sold my practice, I started studying music full time and I'm taking bass guitar lessons, keyboards, songwriting, ear training, the whole gamut. I got private teachers.

Berkeley, I'm studying with Berkeley School of Music because they have an online version that you don't have to audition for. I couldn't have auditioned, didn't have the talent. But just the amazing programs and the professors I had, my God, it was awesome. So two years into studying music, I thought I'm going to reinvent myself as a musician. And when I shared that story to folks,

I kept getting the same reaction. I kept getting, my God, Gail, that is so inspiring. I'm going to go do something they had put on the back burner. And Kim, I heard that over and over again. I heard it from strangers on the airplane. So I thought, whoa, I'm never mind being a musician. I am come out of retirement. I'm going to start my own business, Gail Taylor Music.

Gail Taylor (24:41.548)
and I'm going to use my songs and my stories and become a keynote speaker and help folks become their best selves. And so that's what I did. I started my own business January of 2020. We all know the significance of that date. Gail becomes an entertainer and a keynote speaker. That was okay though, because I needed the first couple of years to really focus on the songwriting and the platforms and the speeches.

And so so I did that. And then I hired an entertainment lawyer to help me get set up. And he said, well, if that's the route you want to take, write a book. And I said, OK, here we go. I wrote a book and I called it Curveballs. And the book is all like these personal stories, challenges and curveballs that life threw at me. And then it's got.

the tools that I use, like I had mentioned earlier, I spent 40 years studying peak performance and personal growth. And I brought myself like in my business and I mentioned I love it. Like I was one of the top 5 % earners in North America. I had really made this overachiever thing happen. So, so Curveballs and my secondary title is, Unlocking Your Potential Through Personal Growth and Inspirational Music. Because what I did,

was at the end of every chapter, I put a QR code for a song that I wrote that was inspired by that story. So you put the QR code and then it brings you to YouTube to watch the lyric video and listen to the song. I literally put a soundtrack in my book. Isn't that fun? Yeah, yeah. So that's where my journey has taken me to now.

Kim Rapach (26:27.841)
That's amazing.

That is amazing.

Kim Rapach (26:36.738)
That is so exciting. That's amazing. So you have this cool book, your keynote speaker, you have a great relationship with your son, and it sounds like you're happily married.

Gail Taylor (26:49.214)
Absolutely, yeah. And I have a daughter and five grandchildren and yeah, life is good.

Kim Rapach (26:56.494)
So I guess what comes up for me is, I have a lot of clients, I have a lot of conversations with people, and it seems, and I think you can probably speak to this, it seems that no matter how successful someone is, there's this invisible goalpost that keeps moving, and there's this common thread where creatives and high achievers, they...

don't feel like they're far enough along on their journey with their career or that they haven't done enough. Can you speak to that a little bit? Because it seems like I hear it at every age, whether they're 20, 30, 40, 50, I'm not far enough along.

Gail Taylor (27:39.924)
Yeah, I think that's true. And I think for an overachiever, someone that's a type A personality like me, of course the goalpost is going to move. I crave productivity. So I strive for what's next. So what I did is shifted my...

my thoughts like many, many years ago. So a big, big part of life to me is your internal dialogue, right? Your internal dialogue is everything. And so, you know, to speak to what you're saying, it's not the goalpost that matters. It's the journey. It's getting to, because you're going to move the goalposts. That's just part of who we are. But it's the journey to get to the goalpost. And of course, when you're

You know, if I was managing 50 million dollars, I wanted 75 when I hit 75. I wanted a hundred. Like there was no that. That's That was just the reality. But but as long as you're enjoying the journey and making sure that you're that that, know, I always say live with purpose and passion. Right. And so to me, living with purpose and passion is about.

doing something that you like every day, making your job, your career, something that means something to you. And so that you do have that bounce in your staff. if you're, like in our culture, a lot of folks settle, okay, I'm gonna take this job that I don't like going to work every day because I'm gonna make a lot of money and support my family. Yeah, no.

Right? That's, I don't believe that. I don't believe in settling. I think we should look for the job that you spend half your life, half of your waking hours at work. So to me, your work life and your personal life are the same thing. They're your life. And so, yeah, so okay to move the goalpost, but make sure that you're, that you're enjoying the journey. And I, I'm even going to take that a step further because I often

Gail Taylor (29:54.22)
The reaction I get when I say that is people say to me, well, yeah, but there's always a lot of exceptions like, you know, the single mom with three kids that has to put food on the table. It's OK for her to have a horrible dead end job that she hates and a boss that's mean to her because she has no choice. No, I'm not buying it. You know, imagine if she's in that situation, how she feels when she gets home at the end of the day. She's like my mom.

She's putting one foot in front of the other and barely being able to put the, you know, smile. Barely being, imagine if that same girl found herself a job, that same lady found herself a job where she was excited to go to work every day. She had a nice boss and she had a nice environment. And then she went home to her three lovely kids and played with them. And like to me,

If you have that job, yeah, you can't quit it because you have to pay the rent, but you can spend an hour a day or an hour a week looking for that alternative position. Right? And to me, that's the journey is everything.

Kim Rapach (31:04.195)
Yeah.

Kim Rapach (31:08.238)
Yeah, yeah. And I'm so glad that you spoke to that because so many people that I talked to, they've hit a point in their career where they're successful, but they're not happy. And you have a little different story where you were successful, and you liked it, but you tried something new.

for the fun and to start transitioning in a season of life and you fell in love with it and then pivoted.

Gail Taylor (31:39.276)
Yeah, and so I had two chapters of my life where I loved them both, right? People say, you know, lots of times I'm interviewed and people go, you finally found your calling later in life. And I said, no, I had my calling for 25 years. It was my calling and I loved it. I loved creating financial independence for my clients and helping them get to that point where they were comfortable that they were going to be able to retire with the same lifestyle that they had working.

Kim Rapach (31:43.255)
Yeah.

Kim Rapach (31:52.012)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Gail Taylor (32:07.18)
Right? So yeah, I got chapter two, I got to pivot. And then I'll just share one other story about the finding a job you love because for everybody it's different. And this is like, this is a story I share in my book. My son works in pest control and he loves it. He is so good at it. For him, it's like I go to somebody's house.

who has bed bugs or cockroaches or some other little vermin running around. And I'm able to bring them to a calm place and explain to them what I'm gonna do to get these little critters out of their house so that they can come back home and have the peace of mind. Imagine how stressed out that person is that has this situation. So he's got that personality where he can...

you know, help them. It's OK. You know, apartment buildings are like this. Here's what we're going to do. We're going to take care of it. You go back home and you're happy. and and like that job would be my worst nightmare. I don't want to be anywhere near those little vermin. That would be my absolute, you know, I would hate that job. But that's what I'm saying. If you have a job that you don't like.

Kim Rapach (33:16.322)
Same, same.

Gail Taylor (33:24.982)
Somebody else has a job that you don't like. You could almost swap jobs and both be in a job that you love. Like it's not, it is not rocket science to go to try to find something that works with your personality. And in the book, I do a chapter about it and say, you know, what do you like? Do you like dogs? You know, get a job out of that. Do you like gaming? You know, get a job program. Like there's so many opportunities.

to find things that are about you.

Kim Rapach (33:56.894)
All right, along the I love that along those lines, what would you say to someone who is an artist and has been an artist their whole career, but they're in another in a world where everything is judged on social media and you have to keep up with your followers and you, you know, you make a misstep and you know, there's this whole cancel culture like what would you say to someone who's an artist?

Gail Taylor (33:58.178)
That's my philosophy.

Kim Rapach (34:24.607)
on how to make sure that they're loving their gifts and what they do.

Gail Taylor (34:30.762)
Right. So I think part of that is to find the role, find a role within the industry that works for you. Because, yeah, I wrote a song called Staying Young. And what motivated me to write that song is, especially in the music industry, it's like folks hit the age of 30 and they think, OK, I'm over the hill. I've got to stop work and go get a job in construction. I mean, construction might be someone else's passion, but it's not there.

And it's to me, it's like, yeah, no, you're not over the hill at 30, at 50, at 60, you can continue. mean, there's people that get their PhDs in their 80s, they're, know, age is a concept. And so yes, the mainstream industry of music does focus on the next pop star. And that's a very young person.

because the 14 and 15 and 16 year olds are who's listening. So yes, you might have passed that time as an artist in the music industry where, and I am focused a little on the music because in the artists of the art world, lot of folks retire and become famous artists, right? But in the music industry, you might feel like, okay, I missed the train. Well, you missed a train, right?

But you can catch the next one and you create what the next one is. Maybe you go work for a recording studio. like you could do some like look at me. I'm a prime example. Because I started music so late in life, I never developed the talent that I could become a live musician. That's not even didn't even become an option for me. But I can I can write a song and I can bring it to life.

I can take that song, I can get a demo done. I record in Nashville and the musicians at the recording studio work for like Tim McGraw and Miranda Lambert, like they're eight A level. And then I take the recording, I hire a vocalist because I can't sing the vocalist and the track. And then I use a private distributor. So the private distributor puts it on Spotify and now, heck, I'm not even in most of my songs.

Gail Taylor (36:55.852)
So I made my moniker, guilty as charged. Right? Like there was a time where a songwriter couldn't bring their music to life. If some recording studio or famous person didn't like the song, it had to stay on the shelf or in the file. Now with technology, man, we could bring our own music to life. And how exciting is that? So I say to all those artists you're talking about,

you know, find your niche and just, you know, yeah, you might have to pivot from being the top 40 pop star, but there is a niche for you. You don't have to leave the industry altogether creative. And business is like you brought forward at the beginning of this question. You what you basically said was how do they reconcile the business side of it?

Because the business side of it is that social media. It is that trying to build their fan base. And if you don't have a business background, I mean, I do. So it's part of who I am. But if you don't have a business background and you're not inclined that way, then you're either going to have to outsource or you're going to have to go to...

YouTube University and learn a little bit of, you know, how can I do that? How can I do a simple business plan to take me to where I want to go? And once you have it on paper and once you have the plan, know, goals, goal setting, if you're the audience that that's listening to us, that's overachiever knows what goal setting is and they know what smart goals are. And so so.

to be able to do that and have, you know, figure out what you want your journey to be, you know, plan for the future, live in the present. But, you know, don't, you have a map, you have a roadmap. I'm heading over here, right? I'm not going to hit the rocks because I know where I'm going and I'm going to enjoy the journey of getting there.

Kim Rapach (38:54.328)
Yeah

Kim Rapach (39:07.126)
I love that so much. So how do you enjoy the journey? What do you do on a regular basis for your mental health?

Gail Taylor (39:17.042)
Eat, sleep and exercise. The foundation. I call it the foundation, right? Nutrition. Hey, our body is housing our brain. It's housing our mental health. If you're going to abuse your body, then it's a little. Yeah, no, you're not going to put cheap gas into a luxury car, right? You might not notice it right away, but the knock is going to start after a while. The engines.

You don't do that to your body. To me, I believe that you should, no filler, right? No processed sugar, no. And when I say no, I'm talking about your daily diet. If you eat a bag of chips once in a while, it's not going to derail you, right? But for me, nutrition is so important. And it's not that hard to learn how to eat healthy if you don't already know, right? So that's...

That is a big one. Nutrition. The second one is exercise. Again, you got to keep your muscle. You got to keep your blood flowing. You got to keep the oxygen. You want the energy. Exercise. And if you're not exercising at all, I'm not saying you have to go to the gym and figure out how to navigate the equipment. Go for a walk for 20 minutes a day. You know, then make it 30 minutes, then make it a power walk. Like it's not it.

None of this is rocket science. In fact, the folks that are listening to us right now have already heard what I'm saying, right? They know eating healthy and exercising is key. And then the third thing is sleep, right? If you can get your eight hour sleep a night, it's very important. And for anyone listening that has insomnia or has struggle with the sleep, again, go to YouTube University, buy a book, do the do you, you know, don't give up.

keep trying to figure out how do I shift this because a good night's sleep, healthy food and exercise make the world of difference. Not about how your body's going to, I mean, yeah, it can ward off things like cancer and other health issues, dementia, all kinds of things can be warded off by taking care of the house, but it's the day to day.

Gail Taylor (41:42.828)
Like I wake up with a bounce in my step. I get up between 3 and 5 a.m. I know, I know. I see the face. I go to bed early. I go to bed early. I go to bed at eight o'clock. Like what am I doing in the evening? I'm watching Law and Order. So I go to bed at eight and get up at four. It's eight hours sleep. Right? And so yeah, I know most people will be more like,

Kim Rapach (41:51.886)
3 and 5

Gail Taylor (42:09.55)
10 to 6 or 11 to 7, that's okay. Whatever your eight hours are. I just happen to be a real morning person. I don't set an alarm. I've never set an alarm. I go to bed when I'm tired. I get up when I'm finished sleeping. And then the other thing I'll share with you too is for the folks that have demanding jobs because I did, right? Sometimes the markets would drop and I'd be driving home from work and I just dropped a million bucks, you know? And it's so like...

Kim Rapach (42:14.552)
Sure.

Gail Taylor (42:39.278)
I'm just, nah, not a good day on the markets. But when I walked in the house, I never gave my husband leftovers. I walked in the house and I, you know, before I walked in, even if I had a rough or long day, it was like, honey, I'm home and I had a good day.

For me a cold one, by the way. And he would just laugh and smile no matter whether it was seven o'clock or eight o'clock at night that I was coming home, because I worked long hours, right? And so that would just make him smile and it would set the mood for the rest of our evening together. And I think that is so important. Don't give your family leftovers. Don't, it's not fair to them.

Kim Rapach (43:23.278)
Mm.

Gail Taylor (43:25.794)
Get, you know, make sure that you're you got enough gas in the tank and that goes back to the eating and sleeping and exercising. Make sure you have enough gas in the tank for them.

Kim Rapach (43:37.11)
Yeah, well, you're talking about the basics of eating, sleeping and exercising. And you've already talked about the necessity of your internal dialogue. And I mean, if I had a dollar for every time I said, the thoughts you think impact the feelings you feel, be very mindful of the thoughts you have and what you do with them. You know, I, I just think it's really important you've you've named all things that are really are within our control.

And the concept of a warrior and the work of warriors is someone who

you know, when you like I think most people think like being a warrior is this big, aggressive, violent stance, and I'm gonna I'm gonna fight this war. And it's like, no, it's actually gentle. It's actually self compassion. It's actually radical self acceptance, it's self love. It's speaking kindly to yourself, it's giving yourself nutrients, it's getting outside and going for a walk. And it's making sure you're getting enough sleep. Like when you start there.

And I'll just say this, you know, if that's a struggle for anyone who's listening, the eating, sleeping, exercising, and internal dialogue, if you can't do these things on your own, there probably is something deeper going on. And that's the time where you want to get a therapist or a coach who can teach you the skills, who can provide the space to teach you how to love yourself well.

Because if you are if you're able to do it on your own, that you know, eating, sleeping, exercising, and you start to feel better. You know, I teach people the window of tolerance like before and after an activity, pay attention to how you feel so that you start to learn. ding, ding, ding, my body likes it when I walk for 20 minutes, right? I'm happier.

Kim Rapach (45:27.274)
And so, but if you can't do that on your own, please talk to somebody because you're not alone. There's so many things that can be done and that you can learn with someone who's been there and with someone who's trained. Just, you know, you don't have to suffer.

Gail Taylor (45:44.36)
absolutely. I think, I think like wellness coaches or psychologists or psychiatrists or counselors, to me, I've had them all my life. I've gone in and out of therapy all my life, depending on what challenges I was going through, whether it's a life coach to help me hit the next level in business or whether it's a psychologist because I've got some emotional turmoil. I don't think that's any different than going to a physical doctor.

You have a physical doctor, you have a mental doctor. You you need them both throughout different times in your life. And then also to this internal dialogue thing I want to speak to, I want to say it's not easy. It's not going to happen overnight. If you're in there self-sabotaging saying, yeah, I tried that before. It didn't work. know, then so.

What I did, I read this book and it was in the late 70s, a lady by the name of Gail Alenková. She was a long distance runner and she was the first one that really taught me the power of positive thinking. And I stole this from her and it was, whatever your mantra is. So in her case, I took, I started using hers and it was garbage in, garbage out.

So if I'm in my head, right, if you're in your head, you're dead. If I'm in my head and I'm doing the, I want to apply for this keynote speech, but, you know, I don't know if I should. Why would they hire me when there's so many other speakers that are applying and why would they pay my fee when some even work for free? Garbage in, garbage out.

And I yell it garbage in garbage out. my god. I'm so glad I reframe. I'm so glad I found this conference and I'm going to apply for the proposal. I'm a perfect fit. They are totally going to get my message and I'm going to help them level up. How sweet is this? I repeat that new mantra. I repeated, I yell it, especially if I'm in my car and no one's hearing.

Gail Taylor (48:01.068)
I mean, I even did a little line of necklaces that I use as a tactile item. So you can rub them. They all have sayings on them. This one says, time is on my side. Right? I've got some that say, I got this or be your own wings. And I literally, I rub it, right? It's that tactile item to help me shift out of the negative thought into the positive thought.

Kim Rapach (48:14.133)
I love that!

Gail Taylor (48:30.434)
Just like you can't train for a marathon overnight, gotta, you know, if you're a couch potato, you gotta take a year and a half to get up to the 26 miles. It's the same with internal dialogue. Don't expect to overnight. You know, if you've tried something before and it didn't work, doesn't mean it's not gonna work this time. But, you know, it's New Year's resolutions. You know, the reason they don't work is because you're trying to do it overnight. And so, yeah.

Kim Rapach (48:44.27)
Yeah.

Gail Taylor (48:59.552)
Remember that too with this internal dialogue. You got to develop it. It does take time and work, but it's worth it, man. It's so worth

Kim Rapach (49:10.13)
Absolutely. You know, I think of I use an example if you fell and broke your leg, right?

you wouldn't plop on the couch, grab a glass of wine or a bottle of wine and sit and scroll on your phone for two hours, you know, looking at other people's lives and other people's stories and silly cat videos, and then wake up the next day and feel you're like, would no longer be broken, right? But somehow that's what we've been conditioned to do when we mentally don't feel well. We detach, we go quiet, we get on the couch, we get on our phones, maybe not making the best

nutritional choices, and that feels like a reward somehow. But it's this act of intentionality, which I think does start with how you think about yourself, how you talk to yourself. And I always say mindset. It's not everything because we do need nutrition, and we do need exercise, and we need sleep, and we need connection, and we need to do things that matter and to feel like we matter. But it is it is

and it's critical and it's important and you're not going to get very far without it because you can't condemn yourself into anything positive. It just doesn't work.

Gail Taylor (50:22.508)
No, and it's buildable, right? Like I didn't always have self-confidence and self-love. mean, there were years through my addiction that I was suicidal. Like I hit some lows. I hit some really low lows. So wherever you happen to be in your life, I'm sharing with you from my own experience that, you know, it is possible to get to that next level. And internal dialogue is everything.

Kim Rapach (50:29.198)
Yeah.

Yeah

Gail Taylor (50:51.699)
I just, really, really believe that your internal dialogue can just send you skyrocketing.

Kim Rapach (51:00.822)
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, thank you for sharing that. So many people that have been part of the work of warriors have wrestled with that. And, you know, for I think it takes us who've like you said, it's it's not fun. It's we build it. It takes time, but it's so worth it. We've been in the dark. I've been in the dark. I've been in those dark places. And I can sit here and tell you I love my life, it gets better. But you have to fight for yourself and

The fight is actually pretty gentle.

Gail Taylor (51:33.152)
Yeah, yeah, it is. But like you said, sometimes you have to hire that wellness coach or that psychologist or sometimes you even need medication to get through it. You know, it's it's going to be different for everybody. And so, you know, I think someone that's going through a really rough time looks at my almost finds my energy toxic because I'm there, you know, think positive. But, you know, we're all at a different place and I respect that.

Kim Rapach (51:42.37)
Yeah, yeah.

Gail Taylor (52:02.126)
And there is that next step for everyone. There is that next step.

Kim Rapach (52:07.638)
Yeah, well, I mean, I don't experience you to have that I know what you're talking about, like toxic positivity. But I, I hear your compassion and I hear your joy. And it feels very authentic to me. And I know that you've built it. It's not been. What's the word I'm like, it's not been manufactured, right? It's not manufactured positivity. It is a lived experience. Yeah, that's what I feel. Yeah.

Gail Taylor (52:14.478)
Yes.

Gail Taylor (52:18.018)
thing.

Gail Taylor (52:27.117)
No.

Gail Taylor (52:32.62)
Yes, yeah, I love life. There's no question. Yeah, I always say I wake up every morning with a bounce in my step and a twinkle in my eye. It's just who I am.

Kim Rapach (52:46.024)
I love it. I love it so much. I guess I would just ask you where can people find you, Gail? And your book? Where's your book? Where are you? How do people connect with you?

Gail Taylor (52:56.214)
Okay, so easiest place to find me is my website, which is gailtailormusic.com. And Gail is spelled G-A-I-L. So, you know, gailtailormusic.com. And then you'll have the links to everything, my Facebook, my Instagram, my Spotify, YouTube, everything. My book is wherever you buy books.

Kim Rapach (53:03.022)
Okay.

Gail Taylor (53:21.742)
It's on Amazon. It's at Barnes and Noble. It's, yeah, wherever you normally would buy a book. But Amazon seems to be the biggest provider right now. And if you are Amazon Prime, you order it and you get it three days later. So, yay!

Kim Rapach (53:33.56)
Gotcha.

Kim Rapach (53:38.806)
Yeah, or sooner. Yeah, who knows? Well, that is going to be my next purchase the winter month. The winter months are coming in and I love that I now like, will have met you and gotten to spend an hour with you. And to you know, just receive your energy and which again, just feels like just authentic joy to me. So I'm excited. I love the fact that you managed to put

a soundtrack to your book and have the QR codes. I love that kind of stuff because you're not just teaching, you're really creating a space of connection and immersive experience, which I think we all benefit from. Whether we struggle with our mental health or not, it just takes you wherever you're at to a higher level. So thank you for creating such a beautiful gift.

Gail Taylor (54:29.258)
And music is healing. I mean, there's a quote in the book about a study Harvard University did on how music affects your brain and how it gives you better focus and how it can calm you down and how it has all these powers. know, just, like to me, it's just so, you know, for anyone listening, if you're going to buy my book,

Kim Rapach (54:30.913)
god.

Kim Rapach (54:38.626)
Yeah.

Kim Rapach (54:45.944)
Yeah.

Gail Taylor (54:54.402)
Don't skip the music. Make sure you do the song at the end. They're like three and half minutes long and it's powerful. The message and the tools that I'm giving you, right, that worked for me to have a better life, once you listen to the song and then you go to the next chapter, you've opened up all these, you you've created the dopamine. That's what it does. It gives you the dopamine. And so now you can

Kim Rapach (54:55.96)
Yeah, exactly.

Kim Rapach (55:01.792)
I love it. I love it. Yeah.

Kim Rapach (55:20.504)
Yeah, which we're all facing anyway, right? Would you rather it be coming from your phone and Instagram or would you rather it come from something that was created that can really shift your your wellness?

Gail Taylor (55:34.486)
Absolutely, yeah, that's it.

Kim Rapach (55:36.352)
Yeah, I love that so much. You were talking about the study of what music does for you. And my husband has ADD and he will turn on classical music when he really needs to focus. And so when we hear classical music coming, like when it gets turned on in the office, just the other day, my son said, he's locking in. We know that.

Gail Taylor (55:56.418)
Well, and I don't think there's too many overachievers that don't have ADD. Right? We're always looking at the next shiny thing. Right? I mean, it's just like when people say that to me, am almost like it's a negative. think, yeah, it's a part of your personality. It's just who you are. You know, who doesn't have it. It's just like we just, you know, it's like you said, hey, I need to I need to.

Kim Rapach (56:00.598)
Yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah.

Gail Taylor (56:23.286)
shift this right now, I'm going to listen to classical music or I'm going for a walk or I'm going to use it to create a new song.

Kim Rapach (56:31.862)
Yeah, I think so. I mean, I haven't met anyone who has a DD who isn't brilliant in one way or another. And I think when we learn to let go of stereotypes, and, you know, diagnoses and embrace who we are, and embrace your uniqueness, how your brain works, that we don't we don't want us all to have the same brain, we don't want to all feel the same way and think the same way, because it would be really freaking boring.

Gail Taylor (57:00.044)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you don't have to focus on your weaknesses. You can focus on your strengths, right? Delegate your weakness. Take your strengths and they're the things that make you happy. Build on them.

Kim Rapach (57:05.186)
Yeah. That's right. That's right. Amen.

Kim Rapach (57:13.12)
Yeah, absolutely. Well, Gail, I've so loved our conversation. Thank you so much for being here. I look forward to reading and listening to your book. And I will circle back with you after I've read it. I'm very excited. I'm just really grateful that you're here and that you're a warrior and that you have such a gift to offer to everybody. So thank you.

Gail Taylor (57:18.19)
You too.

Gail Taylor (57:35.094)
thank you. Thank you, Kim, for having me. And what I'll share with you about the book is too, when people are going because you asked where they could get it, curveballs is all one word. Right. So you really and I think there's lots of other books named curveballs. So you have to type it in is all one word and Gail Taylor with Amazon. Yeah. Yeah. And if you read my book and you like it, give me a review. Apparently.

Kim Rapach (57:45.463)
Okay.

Kim Rapach (57:51.01)
Okay.

Yeah, type it with your name. Yeah.

Kim Rapach (58:01.644)
Yeah, so appreciated.

Gail Taylor (58:04.076)
This is like, this is the algorithm. Apparently, Amazon, you have to have 50 reviews before when you're looking for a book and they say other books that you might like. I don't think I get to be on that list until I hit 50 reviews. And so, yeah, I might be there by the time this airs. I don't know. Fingers crossed.

Kim Rapach (58:15.96)
Yeah.

Interesting.

Okay, so that's the challenge.

Kim Rapach (58:28.684)
All right, well, we're gonna assume it will happen, but would love to help you out with that journey. Absolutely, thank you again, Gail.

Gail Taylor (58:36.11)
Thanks again.